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View Full Version : SucceededKillers weekly writing thing


SucceededKiller
23-03-10, 08:19 PM
I might not post weekly but ill try to :D

I dont title my stuff so feel free to suggest one and give your opinions freely. If you dont like it then say so :D all criticism is good even if its bad. And most of these wont be incredibly good or good at all and thats why your opinion is wanted :D
Everything i post, unless it is a DL link, will be spoilered to save thread space :D If i do post a DL link then it will be appropriately highlighted as such.
Thanks for reading (if you do) :D

Also if you guys have an idea for me to write something about then encase it in spoiler BB code so i know what im looking for when viewing your inspirational ideas :D

Firstly:

It is 10 O'clock, the sun is up
guns start firing, yours is stuck.
When the trigger is pulled you expect a shot,
you get nothing. Just the barrel is hot.
Open the gun, search for the jam
you see the problem, it must be rammed.
Now it is fixed, your ready to shoot
align your cross hairs, hit the mans boot.
The man falls down, mud in his face
you go to shoot again, here come the chase.
Your men run down, they know it's never too late
machine guns drawn, it's the enemies fate.
The gun is cocked, finger on the trigger
as the barrel smokes you add on the figures.
Men falling down, it's part of your mission
to protect Britain you must first listen.

Gundown
23-03-10, 09:29 PM
Well put my friend

RyanCooper
23-03-10, 10:14 PM
Hmm... Think ive already read that... oh yeah.. You showed it to me ;)

Nice one btw :D

Franciswat
23-03-10, 10:50 PM
Awesome, this is pure poetry in our style. :D

SucceededKiller
24-03-10, 11:21 AM
Thanks all :D And Ryan you have read it :p wait, hmm, 6-7 weeks and the new stuff starts coming :D It may come earlier depending on the order i decide to post stuff here however :D

Tyrope
25-03-10, 01:22 PM
OH, i remember that one, i wonder why though... i think Ani told me. [/inside joke]

SucceededKiller
30-03-10, 11:25 AM
Lol yes, Ani tells you alot i guess.

Well it seems it is yet again another week, or close to one :p and so my next writing can be posted here. I'm still looking for names for these as well as inspiration and as any suggestion is a good suggestion dont be afraid to let your voice be heard :D

It's late at night
The war has just started
You know you must fight
Your movements are charted.
Now you must wait
but violence is near
you look at you mate
He's trembling with fear.
You try to comfort him
It is no use
You call over Jim
He comes with his goose.
He has always had it
Since the start of the war
It seemed to come with his kit
Alas, it's no more.
There must be a sniper
Out there in the trees
Put away your lighter
The captains been shot in the knees.
Now for retaliation
To get our revenge
You fight anticipation
When will we avenge.
We all cock our guns
Line up the sights
Listen to the captains
Turn off the lights.
You see them charging
Finger on the trigger
the smoke causes choking
The amount of them gets bigger.
The soldiers fall down
Most of them dying
More than your town
Their bodies are flying.
The shells fly past
You see the explosion
Time to act fast
use vigorous motions.
Your friend is out there
Hiding in the grass
Time to save him,
Let his life last.